Dinner with the only Greek Puritan

Dear, dear boy: 

Come on over. 

Sit down. 

Have a drink?

12 years aged, 

It’s not the only icy beast 

In this warm, warm room. 

Here, I like silk ties; 

You’re wearing a sweater, 

Your jacket is leather, 

The clothes aren’t striped, 

But your forehead is furrowed. 

It’s my mistake, 

Really—

I made you up more than I listened. 

A man’s locution in a boy’s voice, 

Bellbottoms hugged your fecund thighs. 

How was I to know that I 

would be nervous?

That it would not be me, sitting there? 

No, no, not I, but the meager

shadow 

(of lucky, lucky me)

across the table from you?
Tomorrow's headlines won't read:

"Anxious artist meets her creation.”

It’s a wonder, but

despite it all, 

I'm almost head-over-heels.

That--
Or I’m just dizzy from all the walking.

With you, I will: loiter and amble--

greengrass-over-hill. 

But only 

If you bring:

The polka-dotted scarf, 

The bauble-lipped snicker, 

Your eyes’ lascivious glimmer--  

Indeed, my faith did flicker:

Be true- was this our very own last supper?

Are you the apostle holding the knife?
And am I rich with unspent coin?
Or was it never supper at all:
Did we merely consume a most ordinary dinner,
Of strange sustenance that only made us thinner?
(Were you also cursed with fanciful expectations?)

Really— 

Who could ever know? 

I, for one, never knew-
To me, you
were (presently, or perhaps never?)
The ironic fertilizer of my fields:
A hardworking mule, my favorite muse--
Always busy, inciting all the words.
Good! In fair exchange,
I offer you-
Reap my succulence, this sweet fruit:
My (catalyzed) literacy. 

To be sure, it inevitably is
the way of men and Gods:
To come and go.
The fairer ones:
We linger and kiss,
Virtuous, just, until--
The only dilemma is posed.

Alas! 

You are not an easy problem to solve.
But really—
Who could ever have known?

My good sir, please tell me:

Where is Aphrodite when you need her?

Oh! 

We both know:
I am no king of Cyprus.

But be my Galatea and bear me Paphos?

(Secretly, I’ll admit I’m concerned more with the process

than creation.)
Jesus!

Let me not fawn over a deafeningly silent rock!

I console, love with my soul, I understand,

(Lesser, I am consoled, loved and understood.) 

But you’re the oddest oddity, and--

I have quite the collection.

The City that Slept with Me

New York, 

You’ve grown on me.

Like an unruly vine grows on the

wrought-iron gates

of some distinct Bronxville home. 

I promised not to be loved.

After all my sordid love affairs

I promised not to be loved,

But to only love instead. 

You broke my bitter promise, 

And you kept it, all at once-

You’ve loved me like a mother 

Who gives her naked body 

To sustenance. 

Yes, 

New York. 

You've made an unreliably honest 

woman out of me. 

Your winding suburban streets

Have wound themselves right into my heart

And the bursts of air from your city subway vents

Have filled the many crevices of my brain 

And made me a feather-light babe

In love. 

I have parted with my heart, 

On several of your streets and intersections.

And given many a cavernous kiss, 

On your numerous rooftop bars.

And, I too have marveled 

at the droves of your electric stars 

As I joined them in a fast-walking-city heaven; 

Like everyone, with googlemaps open. 

Your labyrinth of expository village walks

Have worked me into a sweating, heaving mess.

And I’ve felt the tingles when 

Your crowded subways thrust 

Nostalgic smells like Old Spice

upon me. 

Indeed, even the bee-line buses’ warm heaters,

Have made me moan in delight 

On not just one, 

But many a frigid evening. 

But no, 

I won't say I'm in love. 

For you have patiently taught me that 

There are dangers in no-filter.

And in forgetting that people are kindred strangers.

But still:

I knew the stubborn truth last night, 

When the sight of your skyline brought a smile

To the very edge of my ears.

I'm only a brief visitor to the intricacies of love, 

Just like every other 
museum perusing
not-quite New Yorker.

But I do see the overwhelming substance of it:

Just like every other 

overspent adventurer

and transitional passenger. 

And, it inspires me to know:

I once left home for ye*, New York. 

But today, I'm coming home to you. 

_____________________

*Until familiarity provides such liberties,

An enclave, as it is, shouldn’t be singular.

Gandalf, who is dearly missed.

The air is a little heavier today, 
happier too
With you afloat in it somewhere
What we needed must have been given:
Mother always sung me to sleep, 
“Don’t you worry, my darling child, 
Providence has a heart of gold;
Now, now, don’t cry.”

But little girls grow in strange ways.
They learn to hate the silly things like
The sweet smell of sweat, and
The buttery soft grease of their scalps,
The bruises of childhood that 
Scream of trees climbed and glass doors broken, 
Of dogs outrun, brothers overtaken...
And the slightest of sometimes: 
Of learning that love can be angry, 
And very, very real. 

We grow in strange ways, 
But find hope in all the usual suspects:
And you know that you were one of them. 
I've held your hand and felt your peace, 
And let it dance me to the rooms of joy:
And given you thanks by questioning my motivations. 
(At Christmas time, you were the man 
who asked your grandchildren to gift you 
their favorite candy.) 

Yes:
The air is a little heavier today. 
But, it’s happier too,
With you afloat in it somewhere. 
You will waft into 
All the long white beards, 
And soft, deliberate voices; 
All the electric rooms, 
And chocolate covered almonds
That I will one day see again
Many, many times. 

And when you do come,
Adrift on the zephyr of a sunny morning, 
Just to whisper in my ears
Your precious, precious words 
of encouragement: 
I should hope to let you know that 
I did grow-
I comfortably filled:
The shade of my brown 
The way my lips are sort of dark
And the quiet place that truly holds my heart,
The majestically mundane solace of 
Acceptance. 

A place that could never be but named 
After you. 

Speak

It’s a long day when 

the cold persists

and a cold persists 

and there isn’t anyone to 

talk with.

Green dots are grey.
Green dots lie to my face.

Remote controls

and faces afar: people I know 

so well… 

With bodies I’ll never touch

And stories that are trapped

In electricity. 

But at least they 

talk. 

They are connected

I’ll never be afraid to cry to them.
When I laugh I'm not scared to
Show them all my teeth. 

Long days which 

Descend 

Crawling

Into 

Long nights. 

They’ll ease into mornings. 

You’ll see the light. 

Bright, warm days are ahead 

Spring doesn’t know how to wait. 

It’s everywhere, springing

Quick. 

Unpredictable. 

And then

When I want to talk 

I will have flowers to talk to 

And birds to sing me to sleep.
For

Although I know
That

Screens talk,

They do not speak. 

Flyaway

I have a flyaway soul. 
There is an anthology of song, barely hidden
Underneath the eyelids of the winds
that blow through me. 
An anthology you may never see. 

My flyaway heart
Is a page folded in half. 
The woman in me is strong.  
With a firm grip she will:
Lead you into her ocean of thought. 
She never seems to hesitate;
But she never rushes in. And
Every time you win, 
You wonder what made her concede.

My flyaway heart
Is a page folded in half. 
You may only ever meet the little girl in me
On days I won’t be convinced of my beauty. 
Shy, vulnerable, naively trusting:
Mischievous enough to have my way by agreeably smiling
and letting you think you’re wielding something that could be mine
In a skipped heartbeat, 
Or a twinkling eye. 

I have a flyaway soul.
You could be a friend who knows
My fierce loyalty and unabashed honesty. And once you
Give me your worst to tame,
You’ll be a grateful friend who knows I do not disapprove. 
Perhaps you’re a friend who’s learned over time
The familiar drink with me is about 
All the ludicrous stories that are stubbornly true-
you’ll laugh till you cry, I’ve been a purple elephant for you. 
And maybe you know, I can tell you everything inside me in a 
bear hug or handclasp, only uttering quiet silence.

My flyaway heart 
Might once have been yours. If you know that 
I love my own skin enough to know exactly how to- 
never forgetting to blink- get deep under yours. 
Or you could be a lover in who I am incapacitated 
A soldier’s first sweetheart; tethered to an almost broken promise.
Too lost in the moment to see it’s brevity. 
And it certainly was once yours, and in part ever will be, 
if you’re someone perfectly beautiful and I broke you coldly.
Or are ever still a woman or man who’ll always wonder  
what you might have seen if  you’d caught onto my tail
as I flew into the night, instead of letting me slip away. 

No one ever captures flyaway soul standing still, 
It only stays perched long enough for one:
single-faceted, uni-angular, ankle-deep picture. Just one
Frozen moment in time. 
You can know a flyaway heart if you dance with it,
step matched to step.  
And surprise yourself to know that you knew all along:
I can choose to be a wildcard, 
I can choose to be a ticket home, or
I can choose not to choose at all. For 

I have a flyaway soul. 

Intertwined

I’m screaming ‘love’ from way above the rooftops. 

I suffer from the insanity of sinning repeatedly: I have broken tacit laws and become emotionally attached. I have dared to remember that love is a beautiful thing, too beautiful for fear to keep me away. 

I’m tossing a gold coin with pain on one side and love on another, and I have won every time:

For love has held my hand through the world of roses, poets, and art. It has given me music to match my feet that dance to the tune of being in love. It’s made me give into the thrill of crossing stars, the pleasure of being on edge everyday when ‘casual’ was a dull, isolated orgasm. 

Love is
a sun-kissed free fall

holding the hand of 

butterflies and uncertainty. 

Of never knowing

Of not caring to be sure

Of hope with a little skip
in your feet
and heart.

I am unafraid. I care for people who do not inhabit my body and mind. I trust to be trusting, I love to be loving. I am a light who shines to shine, 

fearless of being seen. 

Fearless

of closing my eyes

To a child-like despondent waiting

of looking at life 

Like an endless “find me” puzzle

that’s hiding all the vital signs. 

Of loving learning

Of things new

Of people’s secrets:

their untempered truths. 

Love is in 

the hand-clasping

That leaves little shadows on the pavements

In 

the loving feelings

which make a dull living bright and vivid. 

Love is sharing

a full life, a full heart.

Yes.

I am in love, at your feet. Saying what I feel, holding your hand and marking your neck, missing you in my sleep, letting love songs make me weep: bathing you in the effervescence

of love. 

For 

I am like a waterfall, 

I come from my mother,

who is everything. 

I rush with force and spray you 

with a mist of sparkling drops 

that help rainbows sing.

Surely you know that:

There is no point to me

unless                                                                                              I’m overflowing.

Three Tears

I’ll call the song 

Three tears 

and a glass of champagne.

The woman is always beautiful, 

With soft hair and supple skin

Angel lips that will never let 

you kiss in peace again. 

Her eyes are big, but not wide. 

I’ll call the song

Three tears 

and a staring contest with iMessage. 

She reads quickly, 

And puts together 

Things you fear to say

Even to yourself. 

I’ll call the song 

Three tears 

and a mirror-turned-alarm-clock. 

People always know,

Bad is anything but invisible. 

She stands there with streaks across her face,

Crying till she tastes 

her bitter make-up. 

Always take up 

the cause of a beautiful soul. 

I haven't met an ugly soul.

I’ll call the song

Three tears 

and a world of people who can’t decide. 

Life could be better, 

Life is perfect. 

I’ll call the song

Three tears 

and a heart that can't give to get. 

Songs of three tears

Are not melodious. 

They are dark and 

waiting for the fourth.