“Hello.”
“Would you like a drink?”
“I don’t know. What do you think I would like?”
“I think you’d like a God.”
“Would a God please me?”
“A God would give you reasons to be pleased.”
“And would a God distract me?”
“So well that you wouldn’t even know you were distracted.”
“And would a God provide for inhibition?”
“Even better, a God would provide for excuses to act without either thought or conscience.”
“Is a God unbiased?”
“A God is but a vessel for bias- it is indifferent alone.”
“Does a God taste good?”
“Ask the millions who devour it.”
“Is a God addictive?”
“Habit and ritual tend to die hard.”
“Can a God alleviate pain?”
“Naturally, responsibility is pain’s creator, and a God is its un-doer.”
“Would a God unbalance me?”
“A God will leave no need for you to balance yourself.”
“Could a God kill?”
“It does provide the rationale for death.”
“Is a God dangerous?”
“No, but your perception of a God may be.”
“Must a God be regulated?”
“Power asks to be shared unequally.”
“Is a God socially acceptable?”
“Hidden, or in moderation, almost anything is.”
“Can a God elevate me?”
“Without you warranting it.”
“Is a God good?”
“Only as good you are.”
“Can a God be marketed and consumed?”
“Religion might provide an answer to that.”
“Would a God help me get laid?”
“Yes, he’d even help you get pregnant.”
“Is a God legal?”
“Although some say it shouldn’t be.”
“Can a God help me sleep?”
“Through change, love, and war.”
“Will a God get stronger with time?”
“Yes, and your resistance weaker.”
“Can a God be mixed?”
“To suit any taste.”
“Would a God make for a social atmosphere?”
“Brainwashing seldom fails to.”
“Will a God be there through all my joys and sorrows?”
“If you keep it close and want it.”
“I understand. Give me a God.”
Smirks.
“Right away.”
(Title credit to Avadh)
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