(Stage is bare except for a backdrop which is half white, half black, divided by yellow lines (like on a road) down the center. Actor stands in front of this line and takes a few steps. Half the stage has dim lighting and the other half bright lighting.)
I walk alone tonight. Alone, but in a straight line. One, vertical, linear. Equilibrium. Lukewarm. Balanced. Comfortably numb, uncomfortably sensitive. Indifferent, Static, Steady.
What for? Why not.
Lost? Confused? Angry? Sad? Pitiful? Helpless? Tired? Weak? Dizzy?
Yesterday.
(Actor spins of line into the black/dim side and lies down)
(Awakes from sleep, clutching herself, crying.)
No! I beseech you, cease to haunt me! I hate you… I hate you for the filth that has forever scarred me- I hate you for teaching me hatred, for forcing me to know impurity.
(Picks up mirror.)
How I hate mirrors! Reminders of how you pervade and surround me- like the fire that burns within and beyond the warmest glowing ember! Proof of your assault, proof of my pathetic weakness. Deceit… This isn’t me!
(Breaks it.)
That’s better.
(Smiles.)
Broken. Shattered. Crushed. Hurt. Ravaged. Bloody. Torn. Beaten. Battered. Taken. Owned. Used. Abused.
(From background)
“You need two hands to clap,
But just one to attack,
A finger to berate,
But naught to devastate.”
(Shells up on the floor, holds head)
I’m addicted to pain now. I need to hurt to feel. I need the layers of dejection, frustration, anger, hatred, delusion, sting, soreness, desperation, perplexity: PAIN; to surmount me, consume me… Because your remainders never fade- they haunt me.
I long to find justice or reason.
(Actor spins back onto line)
I ran last night. Ran with the speed of flight. Ran in search. For reason. For love. For goodness. For grace. For beauty. For joy. For positivity. For vivacity. For passion. For motivation. For life.
I ran away. Away from damage. Away from injury. Away from man.
Selfish. Apathetic. Callous. Vindictive. Cruel.
A side note: Do not contest those who have seen.
And what good? I found.
Today.
(Actor spins off line and into white, bright side)
I noticed.
Your tiny face. Your short, stubby fingers. Your penetrating gaze. Your soon lost, smiling eyes. Your innocent silences. Your heartfelt love. Inhibition like yours is so seldom found- it's beautiful life so seldom lived, my lives, my worlds: you make everything brighter with your childish abandon and bizarre eloquence!
Your clumsy hands and careful heart lift me to the skies with love; your silly laugh and passionate desire charm me, and hold me in endless rapture. Your complete affection and unfaltering observation fill me with wonder; your beauty exceeds humanity... you're super human, you're not a mistake: you're heavenly perfection; you're an angel testament to god's grace.
And you. Your impassive tears and vulnerable form awaken my maternity. Your pure embrace and thoughtless confidence let me realize my integrity. Your ever learning mind inspires my watchfulness even as your delicate fragility arouses my meticulous attention to detail; you’re the reason humanity can redefine itself.
The proof of procreation’s dire necessity.
I found reasons to be me.
Alive. Whole and good. Flawless. Beautiful. Happy. Radiant.
(Actor spins back onto line)
Tomorrow- they’ll strike again. Sinister, inconsiderate, man will surface and destroy- break your heart, tear you apart, thieve your joy, crush your dreams, use you, forget you, look through you.
But tomorrow, I’ll be intact from the start.
You shine bright: the brightest beacons of hope in the gloomiest and vilest of nights- you glow with divine love- brilliance that consumes the darkest of desires.
You gave me a way. And I walk upon it today. Straight. Unwavering. Alone, but not lonely. Fearful, but not afraid. Innocent, but not naïve. Educated, but not conditioned. Trusting, but not gullible. Natural, but not ordinary. Dazzling, but not decadent. Unseen, but not invisible. Careful, but not wary. Loving, but not amorous. Passionate, but not fervent. Devoted, but not pious. Following, but not a follower.
I walk because mine is to walk.
I walk because I walk to you.
(Actor begins to walk in down the line as lights fade out and song plays.)
“Follow me, into the unseen,
These sapphire skies,
They seem alive,
Past the clouds,
And through the oceans deep:
To somewhere no one ever feared,
Holding an angels hand,
And everyday would be unplanned!
In love’s arms, where I belong,
Tonight… Oh…
Mother, never let me lose this sight.
Follow me, into the unseen,
These sapphire skies,
They seem alive,
Past the clouds,
And through the oceans deep:
To somewhere I know we could be,
Where I can sing my song,
And the world would sing along!
My eyes would shine through crystal clear,
And my heart would always hear,
Your call, Oh…
Father, pick me up if I fall.
Follow me, into the unseen,
These sapphire skies,
They seem alive,
Past the clouds,
And through the oceans deep:
Life’s not that long and no one’s wrong,
It’s never too late,
But nothing should ever wait!
All I can do is share and care,
And let you know I’ll always be there-
Oh… Mother, never take me away.
(Never take me away…)
(away, away… away.)
Follow me, into the unseen,
These sapphire skies,
They seem alive,
Past the clouds,
And through the oceans deep…”
